A Letter for You, Mama

// See the end of the post for some encouraging scripture verses I created that you can download and print or save for later //

Dear Mama,

You are important. You are seen. You are valued. You are treasured. You are amazing. You are enough. You are loved. You are needed. You are doing a great job.

…and…

You’re a good mom, even if you don’t feel like it.

Especially if you don’t feel like it.

If you are beating yourself up about something minor or major, something silly or serious…you’re a good mom.

If you feel worthless, exhausted, unseen, drained, messy, sad, anxious, at a low or all of the above I want you to know that you are not defined by any of those things. Not a one of them. Some of these feelings are oh so valid, and the others are just lies. You were created for this and God will give you everything you need to do it successfully.

If you went back to work to provide for your family and you can’t seem to fit it all in, you’re burnt out and tired of missing all the moments…you’re a good mom.

If you stayed home all day cooking, entertaining, teaching, cleaning and turned around to find another big mess at your feet, burnt out and wishing you had an outlet….you’re a good mom.

If you battled to breastfeed and gave it your all for as long as you could…you’re a good mom.

If you researched and ran to the doctor, grappled over which formula to get and how you would pay for it….you’re a good mom.

If you wanted your baby close at night so you co-slept for a whole lot of reasons…you’re a good mom.

If you got so excited for bedtime to come because you needed some space, but as soon as you closed their bedroom door you instantly missed them…you’re a good mom.

If you were sad to leave your baby with a babysitter, but knew you needed to take time for yourself…you’re a good mom.

If you were happy to take time for yourself, but missed them terribly so you searched your phone for pictures, ready to share with anyone you met…you’re a good mom.

Maybe you didn’t enjoy the newborn phase, but so desperately wanted to…you’re a good mom.

Maybe you were excited for the toddler years, but weren’t sure how you were going to discipline so you read a ton of books…you’re a good mom.

Maybe you were ready to tackle the teen years because you wanted to get to know them better, but you were scared stiff at the same time…you’re a good mom.

Motherhood is an amazing journey, a tribe filled with a whole lotta strong women. I was proud to finally join. It looks different for everyone, but it’s so beautiful when we come alongside one another to celebrate the victories and to cry with each other amidst the chaos.

Generations of mothers uniting to uphold this sacred sisterhood of being someones mama.

It’s a beautiful journey, not for the faint of heart. It will test your will and try your spirit. You will be tired and barely learn how to function in that. You might even break down. Did anyone ever tell you that’s ok? If not, I will.  Motherhood is hard.

Did you just want to run away today? Yea, I’ve been there too.

I’ve also stared at my son and wept because my heart felt like it would burst and I couldn’t imagine loving him any more than I do. Sound strange? I didn’t think so, mama.

Although each motherhood journey is unique we can all find similarities in the moments. Those still, sometimes small, moments. Where it’s just you and your baby. The silence, the smell, the tiny fingers wrapped around yours, the curled up legs pressed against your body.  The sweet, tender sounds they make. Imagining your hearts beating to the same rhythm.

Those are the beautiful moments we can all cherish as mothers.

Sometimes those moments are few and far between too. Some mamas in the tribe really struggle to find peace and calm.  I’ve been there with you in the trenches. I know you made plans to enjoy each phase, but it’s just not happening at the moment. And guess what? It really sucks, but you will get through this.

Maybe you feel like motherhood isn’t your thing, but I want you to know it can be. I truly believe you just haven’t found your groove yet and your time to shine will come. God knows the desires of your heart and He will give you what you need to be the mama you want to be.

Was the newborn phase a complete catastrophe for you or did you melt into it with ease as you and your baby got into sync so quickly?

Did the toddler years drag you through the wringer or did you grow to adore every tough and tender moment together?

Did the preteen years have you on edge, wondering why you had to even deal with all the angst day in and day out or did your child finally open up to you and together you conquered some monumental tasks?

Did the teen years throw you for a loop…and then some, not sure if you’d survive or maybe your child rose to become a young adult determined to live justly amidst the constant trials of the world?

Whatever season you walk through seek Jesus and pray for favor, guidance, wisdom (please Lord!) and grace.  Start each day NEW. A fresh, clean slate…for both you and your child.  Don’t hold onto past hurts and regrets.  Place them at the feet of Jesus.

If you made a mistake, yelled too much, had patience so thin it was about to break or you just feel like you failed that day, then make amends, ask for forgiveness if you need to, explain to your child why you got so frustrated and move on.

Keep giving and forgiving. Keep loving and learning. Keep moving forward. Need some help? Seek out a mentor you trust! We were never meant to do any of this alone.

And mama, remember just how strong you are. You brought a life into this world. You nourished that precious little life and you gave it your all, even amidst tears and pain.  You did your best, the best you knew how, you sought help when you needed to and you are rocking it.

Wanna know how I know all of this? I know, because I see you everywhere I go. I look for you and watch you. I see you taking your children to the park and actually playing with them, loving on your babies, juggling it ALL, doing the best you can, putting the phone down to be present.  I’ve seen your posts on the internet, the desperate pleas for help and support, wanting the best for your child and giving this motherhood thing every last ounce of energy.

It’s always been tough to be a mother. I mean, think of all the responsibility we have.  It’s even harder when you throw on a list of expectations that reach so high they would topple over.  Today, I choose to celebrate all of the mamas. The boo-boo kissers, food preparers, clothing-cleaners, bath givers, and song singers [amongst a myriad of other things].

You’re a good mom. Did someone tell you that today? If not, I will.

For the brand-new mama, struggling in the newborn phase:

  1. You and your baby were designed by God Himself to be knit together.  He knows what you can handle and gave that precious baby to you on purpose for a purpose. Own that.
  2. In your mommy gut deep down you know what to do…and all that you might be able to do is pray. That’s ok. Hand the baby off to someone else and PRAY.
  3. Your husband can help. He is not a babysitter, he’s actually more than capable.
  4. The people around you are there for a reason, utilize them. If they offer you help PLEASE TAKE IT. Your mental health is important and you can’t do it all.
  5. Seek professional help if you need to. This is so important. Even talk therapy with a licensed counselor can help!
  6. The exhaustion will end. I won’t say when because everyone told me around 3 months….but NO. My cutie guy got a whole lot happier around 5 months, but didn’t sleep through the night until 13 months.  It’s OK, it’s a hard season that will pass!
  7. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. This scripture becomes cliche but it’s so very true. He conquered the grave, and He can help you through each trial you face.
  8. Write scripture down on pretty index cards and place them everywhere. When you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted…stare at those scriptures, read them out loud and claim them over your mind, heart, home and family members. [Or just print off the ones below I created] ❤
  9. You will start to feel better…although I can’t tell you when that will be. For me it took a lot longer than most, but not as long as others.  Get out into the fresh air and sunshine and just take one day at a time. Go out and about when you feel comfortable and think about joining an encouraging mom group.  And if you need to wear that baby to make them happy….DO IT and don’t feel bad about it! #wearallthebabies
  10. Your baby is needy now and literally gives nothing back to you, except an occasional smile that might be just from gas, but they will flower with love for you.  The mother and child bond is truly like no other.  I could cry thinking about how vital it is.  Remember the groundwork you are laying, the foundation you are going to build on and how your child will have a strong place to stand on as they face their own life challenges.

Even on the days you don’t feel like a good mom, you are. Stop beating yourself up, letting mom guilt consume you and celebrate each day. Find a big or small victory you had together and delight in it.

Be well,

Name

Here are some powerful scriptures to keep you motivated and to show you just how equipped you are for this. God’s got you both in the palm of His hand.

Click on the PDF to download and print out or save for later!

2 Corinthians 12.9Jeremiah29.11Psalm 37.7Philippians 4.8Matthew 6.33Psalm 34.18Proverbs 31.28-30Isaiah 41.10Psalm 127.3-4Matthew 11.28-30

 

2 thoughts on “A Letter for You, Mama”

  1. Amber this is so beautiful, touched me deeply. Personally and as your mom. 💗😊 You are and have always been a special blessing. You are an amazing mom! Love you xo

    Liked by 2 people

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